The dreamer.

The dreamer.

+++++++++++++

I spent last

Night

and all of this

Morning

Sleeplessly

Dreaming 

My

Biggest Dreams

Of

You yet.

But your voice

is just

An echo repeating

My

Pleas..

until

I grow silent and

Punch 

The walls of my hearts'

grim

Cave while holding my

Breath

Hoping 

i

Suffocate

To death so 

that the

Memory 

Of your smile

is 

The last thing 

My

Sick Eyes See.

Oh

Death I love

You will you 

Marry me!!?

May I...

Carry 

you

Cautiously 

Across 

Times eternal

Threshold?

Or

Jump headfirst 

With 

You into Loves

Temporary 

Abyss?

++

I fear that

Soon my eyes will

wake 

up to the nightmare

Of you

(which is a product

Of US, moreso than 

the doings of any one

Individual)

and then

Tear out my trembling

throat

In sheer 

Protest !

(against the

Shadow Things

Which Bind Us 

Still.)

Jsh

10,000 Maniacs

10,000 Maniacs.

++++++++++++

I remember it 

as

A Fog creeping

through

The Happy Wilderness

of

My Once -So -Joyous-

Soul;

A...

Moment of Bleak

Epiphany,

whence came 

The

Realization

I am not

in control of

ANYTHING.

(save my perception

of

This Illusion That is

Something-Near-To-Life.)

Whether half 

full

or

Empty

My 

Cup is incomplete;

as

I Eat Hope washed

Down 

with question marks.

(which breed mere

Replicas of Themselves.)

and

Curse 

The fucking day!!

(I said)

That

I stepped outside

My

Head to see!!

(somethin other than

The Ghost of Me.)

+

So

Now 10, 000 maniacs

stand

before a Bottomless Heart...

One

Foot dangling over Deaths

Crumbling Ledge.

And 

I laugh ironically with them

all..

Because i feel so fucking

SMALL....that..

it seems a mortal sin!!

(to not eventually die.)

J.Stephen. H.